What a Sandwich Taught Me About Confidence
I recently decided to take a solo road trip to visit family. Now, at this point in my life (my late 20s), this has become a usual thing. My husband and I, unfortunately, work different days of the week so sometimes it is hard to get our days off to match up. Going on the trip solo often works out fine as I can listen to my favorite podcasts along the way and there’s no one to complain about the stops at my favorite book store and Trader Joe’s as we drive through the closest major city on the way home. This particular trip, I decided to stop for lunch at one of my favorite locally owned restaurants in the city.
It’s one of those places where I don’t need a menu, I knew exactly what I wanted so I ordered right away and in no time I had my food: a BLTA (bacon, lettuce, tomato, and avocado) sandwich. At this point you may be thinking…what does this have to do with confidence? Well, moments after my much anticipated meal arrived, an older man walked up to my table and said, “I don’t think you can handle that sandwich.”
I politely replied, “Oh, I think I can. I have before.” He then seemed surprised and said something else to me that I don’t really remember and didn’t bother replying to and went about eating my delicious sandwich that I had driven two hours to enjoy.
I was about halfway through my meal when someone else came up to me. This time it was the pregnant woman who had been sitting next to me. She smiled at me and said, “I hope you enjoy your meal.”
I smiled back and nodded, “No worries there, I’m enjoyed it! The food here is delicious.”
She said, “Well, good I didn’t want that man to ruin your meal.” She said some other things as well that I prefer to keep to myself, but overall she made sure I felt comfortable and safe which is something I will always remember and appreciate. Her words also got me thinking…the words that man said didn’t phase me. In fact, by the time the woman came to my table, I had nearly forgotten he’d even spoken to me. There was a time in my life, however, when his words would have bothered me a lot more than they did that day. In fact, there was a time in the not-so-distant past where I wouldn’t have considered eating a meal by myself. My confidence has grown and so have I. Which is why I want to share 3 things I’ve learned about confidence since making it a priority in my life.
Confidence Follows Courage: you aren't born with confidence, despite what people think. When I was a kid, people always said I was confident when I would get up on stage at a piano recital like it didn't phase me at all. In reality, my stomach felt like it was filled with so many butterflies I thought I might explode. I just did it anyway. I wasn't confident, but I did have courage. There will be many times in your career where you have to do something you aren't confident in and that's where courage comes in. Now, I am confident in my ability to counsel a family on their child's new epipen, but the first time I did it, I was terrified. However, I knew the family was more scared about their child's newly discovered allergic reaction so I pushed the nerves aside, got some courage and provided the counseling they needed anyway.
Confidence Takes Time: having courage will eventually lead to confidence. You may have heard the saying competence breeds confidence and in many cases this is true. Over time, you will gain experiences that turn your courage into confidence because these situations will become more and more familiar. When I first started verifying orders as a pharmacist, even Tylenol™ orders were new to me so I had to take time to make sure it was perfect. After verifying them for over a year, I didn't have as much hesitation and easily identified things that were outside the norm. My confidence increased the more comfortable I got with the process at hand.
Confidence Requires Discomfort: The process of building confidence includes a period of time in which you are a beginner and being a beginner is challenging. It requires you to consistently put yourself in situations where you aren’t comfortable, yet. The key word here is yet. During my residency, I staffed as an emergency department pharmacist and happened to attend a lot of Code Blues. The first time I was in the room alone, my heart rate was elevated, my hands were shaking, and I was doing everything in my power to not mess up. Fast forward to now, I am able to walk into the room calmly, know exactly what is expected of me and even anticipate what the team will need from me next. It took many, many times of me attending these situations when I was uncomfortable to reach the point where I was confident in my abilities.
Confidence is a skill, which means it can be learned. If you want help coming up with an action plan to strengthen your own confidence, register for the “How to Build Confidence as a New Pharmacist” webinar below!
